In Syria, a war is raging with the civilians of Syria who are trying to gain freedom from the Syrian government. More than 250,000 Syrians have died in the conflict. In fact, than 11 million have been forced out of their houses. Syrians have the lowest amount of resources they have ever had. They need food, blankets, heaters, clothes, shoes and fuel. Even though it is cold, some people try and cross the waters to get to Europe. In my opinion, I would stay and fight for freedom.
I think that you should say a little more about why they are forced to leave and who is forcing them. Also You should add a sentence at the beginning to hook in readers. You should also add a Little bit about how far they have to travel.
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