Pessimistic Tour Guide

Hello.

I am your tour guide to India, (although I'd prefer showing you to China because I have more knowledge about it). So um, let's just do that painful packing and get our phones so we can take all the selfies we want.

You know what's the first stop? It's Agra, because if you haven't gazed upon the Taj Mahal yet, that just might be the place for you to visit. 22,000 people and 17 years creates a satisfying end product; a massive grand marble structure looming before you accompanied by the trimmed trees and clear pool that is sure to impress you (or not). If the Taj Mahal isn't enough for you, let's go eat some food with a taste of history. Spicy curry in Agra was flavored by the Indian-Islamic Mughal Empire, which had stretched along India through 16th to 18th century. The curry is made with dried fruits, nuts, and spices, so if you have a peanut allergy, I don't suggest sampling it. If you want a desert, throw in some fruits, grains, maybe even lentils, and you get some halwa. If your taste buds differ from that, maybe use semolia and ghee, and top it with some nuts.....right, if you have a peanut allergy, that really seems to be restricting you from food in India. But, unfortunately, that is all for now in Agra, because we still have many amazing places to go, even if you don’t like long car rides. So we’re off to New Delhi.

What’s so special about New Delhi? They have the Jantar Mantar, with 13 astronomy instruments. Wouldn’t you like to see astronomy instruments and science stuff? (Awkward silence) It’s more of a historical observatory, but it looks pretty cool! Now, there’s always the food aspect of every place, right? So let’s look at some famous dishes featured. There’s paranthas, which take shape and looks of a tortilla filled up with some stuffing of choice. Butter chicken also sounds like a good decision when you’re ordering, made on accident when some cooks tossed in sauce consisting of butter, tomato, and chicken juices with chicken pieces. If you don’t want chicken then why don’t you try some kebabs, with grilled chunks of meat seasoned with Indian spices. If you want something different and try some soup, there’s Nihari a soup with meat served along with rotis. If you’ve seen a lot of chinese foods, you might know this type of dumpling (as I said I would rather do China) similar to momos. These dumplings have a variety of stuffings, so to those vegetarians out there you can get vegetarian momos. However, that’s enough talk about New Delhi.  

Let’s go to Bangalore, it should be fairly exciting. The place we’re featuring here is Lalbagh Botanical Gardens. We can translate Lal Bagh to The Red Garden. The Red Garden has 240 acres of scenic views, showcasing about 1,000 species of plants and trees over 100 years old. However, 100 years is nothing compared to the ancient rocks dating back to 3,000 million years ago. The biggest feature of The Red Garden is the Glass House, probably the most well known artistic structure in the garden. It was originally going to be based on the model of the Crystal Palace in London. However, the Crystal Palace burnt down after setting fire on accident, so the Crystal Palace in India wasn’t going to happen. Now the model of the Crystal Palace is the Glass House. So, I present to you, the Crystal Palace of India.

Enough about places. Let’s discuss about a festivity. You might want see one of the most important festival in India, Diwali festival, festival of the lights. You can imagine why it would be called festivals of the lights. There’s all sorts of light, clay lamps, strings of electric lights, bonfires, and maybe you’ll even see some fireworks. Other than that, people worship Lakshmi, and let him in by opening doors and windows, then lighting lamps almost as if it was a welcome sign. However, interestingly, in different areas of India Hindus interpret this day differently. North India celebrates the story of King Rama return after he defeated Ravana. South India thinks of this day as the day Lord Krishna defeated the demon Narakasura. Lastly, western India believes Lord Vishnu sent King Bali to rule the nether on the day of the diwali festival, but all have something in common. They all feature the good overcoming the evil.

Well, sadly, your tour to India is over. Thanks for the money though, bye. What did you enjoy the most about the tour?